urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mytruthmylove I believe in love, I believe in love. Vanessa 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mytruthmylove:5106 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z She's so beautiful. Usually when I fall for a girl, a part of me is jealous of her. I admire her and wish for her qualities to be my own. <br /><br />So there is this girl, and she is brilliant. She knows <b>four languages</b>. She never touches or styles her long, brown hair. She knows what she wants, and gets it. She is a wonderful actress. <br /><br />I asked her once what time it was. She looked at me, almost disgusted, and said, "What do you care? Just live your life."<br />So instead of going to Japanese class, I sat on the steps with her, smoking cigarettes and talking about sex and lust. <br /><br />It's just that at the Halloween party, she dove into the jacuzzi with her costume on. She waded over to me with her wet black skirt clinging to her legs like flower petals. She starred up at me with her big brown eyes. She doesn't wear makeup, though she had spread glitter over her face and body. She glowed ... like an elf. The kind in Lord of the Rings, that live in trees and have moonlight in their eyes and never make a sound, except to sing the most beautiful, mournful songs. <br /><br />We looked into each other's eyes in that way. You know the way. The one where your face starts to burn because your eyes - are - stuck - to - each other's. And you fear to let your intentions shine entirely through your damned honest eyes, yet you can't bring yourself to pull away, because hers look so inviting. So safe. <br /><br />I am hesitant however. I know that I like her. And if she were a man, I could tell by her eyes that she liked me. But she's not a man, she's a woman. Women are strange creatures, with naturally seductive eyes. Could she be tricking me??? I am afraid.<br /><br />"What are you telling me with your eyes?" she asks me. <br />She has discovered me. <br />I deny everything. "What do you think I'm saying?"<br />"What are you telling me you want?"<br />"I'm just watching your eyes" --(I'm such a fucking pussy)-- "Just watching you."<br /><br />Could she want me!? Could this girl who pulls up her skirt to reveal her little pink panties and her perfect underparts really want me??<br /><br />It is true, the night before, when we were dancing together, she said, "You're so sexy" without any prompt. It is true, when she has me give her a massage she tells me how hot I get her, that I have great hands, that I'm so tender. It is true, perhaps that she has had a girlfriend before and that she talks to me abuot masturbation and that she offered me a strawberry from her mouth. <br /><br />And yet I am afraid. <br /><br />O desire. Thou art a tormentor!!<br /><br />I'm a pussy.